Top Five Friday

Words That Pay Off

Looking for that win-win situation that leaves everyone happy and no one feeling that the other has compromised? Then look no further; I think I may have discovered the answer. It’s as simple as speaking your mind in a kinder, healthier way to get more of the behavior you do want and less of the hostile pushback you don’t. The old adage, It’s not what you say, but how you say it, still holds true. So don’t discount the power of your words. Failing to effectively convey your thoughts, express your expectations, disappointments, and desires can mean the difference between losing ground or gaining the end result you are personally aiming for.

Fortunately, there is a method to all this madness known as COMMUNICATION.  According to a May 2008 O Magazine article, How to Say I Hate You More Lovingly, there is an Attack Mode and Smart Mode of communication.  Here are some examples of ways to say what you mean AND mean what you say, without coming across as the bad guy. Try using some of these tactics at home and in the workplace.

Today’s Top Five Friday topic: Words that Pay Off

 ATTACK MODE:                                                 SMART MODE:


 “You and your family are horrible every time we get together. When they’re not boring me to tears, they’re usually offending me.”


 “I don’t always enjoy being with your family.  I feel left out of the conversation, and sometimes I strongly disagree with what they’re saying.”


 “No, that won’t work at all. Just let me handle the client files the right way.”


 “I’m not sure if that will work. What if we did it this way?”


“You’re so bossy with the kids, they just run away, and I don’t blame them. You need to lighten up.”


“Like you, I’m concerned about the kids. And I’m tempted to clamp down on them—but I’m worried that it will backfire if we do it too forcefully.”


“I never want to go there again for vacation. We’re still paying for that stupid idea of yours.”


 “I didn’t like that place as much as I’d  hoped. Maybe we could go over a list of new places we might enjoy.”

  “I’m much better at the whole money thing than you are. Honestly, you need to listen to me on this.”   

  “I understand what you’re saying about our finances. I have some good ideas about it, too.”

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” 

          –Maya Angelou

Published in: on February 18, 2011 at 11:31 am  Comments (2)  

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I totally needed this today! Thank you for this on time word.

    • Hi Nikeia,

      As hard as it is to control how and what we say; it is so important that we do so. I for one know I need to check myself with this one!

      Peace and blessings,

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